People find everything online, why not a surrogate mom? For sure you can do it! However finding the right surrogate is one of the most important decisions intended parents will make in the entire surrogacy process and you must know that looking for a surrogate online can have both positive and negative aspects. Besides, you will be likely facing higher risks going independent than if you use a surrogacy agency. What do you have to check when looking for a surrogate mother online? When you decide to go Indy and to find surrogate mother on your own, you are expose to some issues. That is the reason why people usually rely on a surrogacy agency or specialist. Agencies are experts in surrogacy planning, assessment of prospective surrogates and matching, they know what and how evaluate a surrogate. In general, people don’t know how to assess a gestational surrogate as they are not familiar with the process, so it’s quite likely that they would miss or underestimate some important criteria during the surrogate’s assessment. If you choose to go online to find your surrogate you will take care of the steps process, so you need to be careful and keep in mind the following checklist during the matching phase. Find a good lawyer to learn more about the legal requirements in your state/province; he /she will help you to complete the legal paperwork needed in this complex process. Look for a reputable fertility clinic to make the necessary medical procedures. When choosing the best clinic for your needs, you need to consider the following things: services offered, location, waiting time, fertility clinic success rates, fertility professional team, clinic accreditations, embryo transfer policy and cost. You must ensure your surrogate pass a complete medical screener (partner/spouse/husband too) to verify she is in good physical and medical condition. It’s important she has a health Body Mass Index (BMI). A BMI of under 20 or a BMI of over 30 can affect the success of the IVF treatment and poses higher risk factors during the pregnancy, mainly because the gestational carrier is likely to gain even more weight while she is pregnant, however, note that in some instances, a higher BMI is acceptable when other factors such as lifestyle, reproductive history and medical records are considered. Body Mass Calculator A Surrogate must be between the ages of 21-40 (if older check with the requirements of your fertility clinic before matching)
Ensure she had at least one previous full term pregnancy and that she is raising the child. Check if she didn’t pass any difficulties while she was pregnant or during the delivery. Ask for a complete psychological assessment with a fertility counselor or psychologist. If possible send a licensed social worker to her home. The ideal situation is when the surrogate mother lives in a non-smoking home, with a stable lifestyle and emotional support from her family and friends. It’s vital to have the whole family on board, not just the mother. This is something people often underestimate when finding surrogate online. Ask for her criminal background check. Make sure the surrogate is a permanent resident of surrogate friendly states in United States or surrogate friendly provinces in Canada and she has no idea to change her residence during the pregnancy. Be very careful also about what are her motivation to be a surrogate mother. It can happen that a woman is proposing to be a surrogate online to get a higher reimbursement than what she would get working with an agency. Ideally, money should not be the primary motivation for a surrogate, and in this case, the potential surrogate would be more motivated by financial reasons than by the joy of pregnancy. Try to find out if your surrogate is financially comfortable and have sufficient income and a limited debt. Don’t be afraid, find surrogate online also can have positive things! In some cases, the overall cost of your surrogacy journey will be lower as you don’t have to pay the agency fees. Medical/psychological and legal specialist may be the only surrogacy professionals you will need. You are not limited to look for a surrogate in the state/province where you live. If your state/province is not surrogacy friendly you can use internet to find a gestational carrier who lives in a surrogacy friendly one. Probably, you will have a closer contact the surrogate as no surrogacy professional will be involved in your relationship (also depending on the reasons of your surrogate to become a surrogate mother) Whether you choose to find surrogate online or with a surrogacy agency, finding a potential surrogate mother can be challenging at times. This is why you need to be aware of the risk you are facing and be prepare for all of them! Find more info in this video The story of couple of intended parents looking for a surrogate mother. The first day we heard of surrogacy, we knew that one day, becoming a parent would no longer just be a dream, but also a reality. We are so grateful to all these women out there who are willing to help couples build their family and we can´t wait to meet our very special person. Being parents has changed us in a way we couldn’t have foreseen. The love we have for our daughter has lifted and fulfilled our lives in a way that makes us wonder how we ever lived without her. Coming from loving families, we knew we wanted to be parents from the outset but actually living through this experience is a completely different story. Our goal had always been a family of four, we’re almost there, and need your help to make our dream come true. We’ve been in a loving relationship for twelve years, married for eight, and are blessed to have strong family ties. In 2014, we were blessed with the arrival of our daughter via Gestational Surrogacy. Sadly, our previous surrogate mother is no longer able to carry children as we would have otherwise worked with her again in a heartbeat! Having been through a Surro journey, we now have a keen understanding of the process and have an excellent care team ready and in place. In our situation, both of our sisters generously donated eggs which were cross fertilized so the embryos are genetically tied to both sides of our family. The remaining embryos are ready for a transfer at any time. We’ve also counselled other couples who wished to use the process in creating their families, which has been our way of paying forward the excellent advice and counsel we received from our network. We would love to share our experience with you if had any questions about the process.
Being cognizant of the intricacies involved in a possible ongoing relationship, we also understand and respect if your preference was to isolate the arrangement as simply one of altruistic assistance. While we maintain a great relationship with our previous Surro Mom, her preference was to maintain distance after the birth, in order to not confuse her family and our daughter. In short, we truly appreciate the gift a surro mothers offers, and happily respect your preference. In our minds the process of choosing a surrogate or intended parents is neither a transaction nor a one way conversation but rather something more personal where both parties have the opportunity to get to know each other first before making any decisions. We feel it’s important for IP’s and their surrogate have things in common, after all one can only talk about pregnancy for so long: In this vein and in addition to weighing the pros and cons – a decision like this also has to ‘feel right’ for everyone involved. We would love to find a surrogate we can connect with! |
AuthorBuilding modern families through surrogacy can be a challenging journey Archives
July 2020
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